Well, what can I say? I enjoy goofing off. I can goof off here or there. I can goof off anywhere. I can goof off on a boat. I can goof off with a goat. I can goof off in the rain. I can goof off on a train. I can goof off in a house. I can goof off with a mouse. I hope you will join me in many goofaholics anonymous postings to come. Pictures, videos, fun things, links, jokes, Random Email Fridays (thanks to some I know), forwards, etc.! For those that don’t know, snopes.com is an excellent resource for determing if a forward is true or not. I’ll try to keep all links as up-to-date as humanly possible, but this category will probably get quite large, and I probably won’t be able to keep up, as I’ll be too busy (no oxymoron intended – just kidding!) goofing off somewhere else. This stuff is what goofaholics live for.
December 17, 2006 at 2:42 am
Confession of a Classic Goofaholic
Do you have any idea how much time I spent learning how to goof off? It’s pathetic. I stayed up nights. I stayed up days researching for a way to do it and not get caught. You might say I studied for four years just to be a screw up. And I got paid for it too. I became a theater arts teacher.
People don’t realize how much training it takes. I started out making sounds like farting using my mouth and hand, then my armpits and hand.
I even developed various fart sounds combined with a whistle, for which I received brownie points. After that came the idiot voices and strange ways of walking.
For my masters thesis I plan to research the cultural impact of various whistles and bells sequenced with farting sounds as they impact the media environment. For this I have sent several letters of inquiry to a multitude of college grant sources. Strangely enough, I have yet to receive any responses.
I have to say though, that I’ve had some negative remarks like “before you study anything more, why don’t you just flatten the point on your head with a sledge hammer or something big and hard?” or “don’t try your research on my relatives. They’re crazy enough. You might drive them sane. And I couldn’t take that”.
What I’m getting at is, to my knowledge, it takes a lot of dedication to qualify as a true professional goofahalic. That is, if you can survive the kill-joys that seem to stalk you day and night with phrases like “where the hell did you come from?” and “did you actually pay someone to teach you to do this? I’d ask for it back so I could sue them?”.
On the other hand, do you realize how easy it is to get student aid to accomplish this feat? Let’s face facts. If it wasn’t for a bunch of Goofahalic Congressmen passing supporting legislation for student financial aid to idiots, I’d never have gotten the money for my Goofoff degree in the first place. Thank god for Googahalics!